meaningless

i listen far too much to mogwai ._.  why do i somtimes get a  sudden urge to scratch my face?
my days are so empty... every monday is the same. every thuesday. thursday and Friday... they dont make sense. they dont matter..  when i lie in my bed at night in the silence, i realize i didnt achieve anything that day. and then i think of what a failure i am, and that i cant do anything right. i am just not good enough. i never am. i never was. maybe one day i will be.
i am sick and tired of being worried. of all the Things i have to do and think about. i am tired of all the responsibilities. i am tired of knowing whats going on around me and in the world. tired of understanding. and i am tired of caring.
whats the meaning with life? hah. there isnt one. we just happen to exist. sad coincidence.